I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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