my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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