Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
