making cat noises will not fix the situation.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
