i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
