You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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