he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
