I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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