from now on my penis is your penis
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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