I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
