I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
