Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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