i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
