We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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