i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
