Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
