My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
