Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
