remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
