So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
