so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
