I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
