Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
