ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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