the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
