I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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