saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
