Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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