SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
