is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
