Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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