Fuck appropriateness.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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