Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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