he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
