I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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