the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
