she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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