Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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