im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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