Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
