he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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