Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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