Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
