she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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