ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
