I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
