So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize