I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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