Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
