I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
