Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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