508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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