I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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