I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
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All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
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Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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