My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
