im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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