too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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