I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
seriously i just wanna be friends
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.