before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome