what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
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Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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