I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.