you guys were way drunker than both of me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
