Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
