one two three fourrrrnication!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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