My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
