He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
