I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
True college students do jello shots in the library
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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