Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so let's talk penis.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
