sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
