were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
